I Will Minimize My Discussion of 'Music' from Now On

Actually, not all music falls under this category; to narrow it down, it would be the classical music field. My ignorance, limited to classical music, led me to major in composition, and I also accompanied the choir and praise team at church. Because of this, people have a very bad habit of equating me with music.

Furthermore, looking back on the piano teacher who gave me private lessons before I came to America, I can't believe how negative that person was. Whenever I was with them, it was nothing but gossip about this professor and that student. Even in my view, this person was clearly not at fault, and now I wonder why I just passively accepted all those negative things. It's incredibly frustrating and disappointing.

And the truth is, I didn't choose composition out of a burning desire. I wanted to be involved in music, but I wasn't skilled enough to pursue piano. Once I started college, I managed the tonal music of my freshman and sophomore years reasonably well, but from my junior year onwards, with the demand for atonal music, it was pure hell, and my grades suffered. I was utterly foolish to choose composition without considering these factors. Therefore, my biggest regret in life is majoring in composition.

Come to think of it, an episode comes to mind. During my senior year, first semester, I had shipped all my belongings to America and stayed at a close friend's house. I was writing a string quartet for my final piece, but because I didn't understand the concept of atonal music, I couldn't figure out how to proceed with the piece. I remember throwing my pencil down, sitting on the floor, and crying my eyes out. Even now, twenty years later, the memory is vivid.

That's why I'm grateful that this life in America has become a refuge and sanctuary for me. If I were in Korea, I'd be pressured to participate in countless events despite having no interest in contemporary music. I would undoubtedly be dragged here and there. So, anticipating the possibility of a reverse migration—which I sincerely hope doesn't happen—I created a new Facebook account yesterday. (I truly hope it won't come to that) because I'm going to completely cut ties with my Korean classmates and colleagues.

Instead, as I mentioned in a recent post, I enjoy J-Pop. My taste isn't broad; I have a firm set of preferences, and I frequently listen to music by several artists, including Yoasobi. I find more peace and relaxation listening to this kind of music than classical. Though I might sound pretentious saying this, I no longer want to listen to, or deal with, classical music. Above all, I strongly dislike the narrow-minded thinking of those in the classical music world, just like my past self. So, frankly, I wish the related departments and the classical music market would just collapse.

Because of this negativity, I tend to avoid interacting with people. As I mentioned earlier, the stereotype of equating me with music is incredibly annoying. I don't even want to mention piano anymore. I find more value and fulfillment in typing on my computer, writing, and spending the rest of my time reading the Bible and contemplating and analyzing its message.

In conclusion, I'm incredibly grateful and thankful to be able to consistently write on durumis. Even though I haven't been able to maintain a daily post, looking at the start date and the number of posts published so far, it's equivalent to posting daily. This gives me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. I'm not going to think about Brunch, Tistory, or Naver anymore. I plan to continue settling here, making this my asset and legacy for the future.