Barco's Recent Talks on durumis

1. Stomach Health

My stomach started acting up in mid-June. I'm scared to get an endoscopy, and since doctors supposedly can't do much, I started self-treatment.

First, I drastically reduced the amount of food I eat every day and started refraining even when there was delicious food. I also completely changed my habit of eating in a hurry and started chewing slowly and thoroughly. (Even water) It's fine at home, but I tend to eat heartily once a week at church, so if there's dessert, I don't eat it if I can take it home, but I keep it and bring it back. If it's an appropriate amount, I share it with my mother.

And since a certain day, I started pressing or rubbing the area where my stomach is, and every time I do that, I can feel my stomach actively moving with a 'gurgling' sound. Then, if I burp, I feel like the feeling of the bad stomach condition is gone!

As a result of thoroughly sharing my condition with artificial intelligence yesterday, it was concluded that it was temporary and self-treatment was sufficient. Of course, I'm a little scared because my aunt had stomach cancer surgery a few years ago, and my original mother also had digestive problems, so I'm afraid it's a family history.

I also experienced digestive problems since my school days, and the recent symptoms can't be easily dismissed because of my age. However, I have an appetite, and I feel okay after moving and sleeping, and I digest food well, so I decided to accept it as a lifelong destiny of suffering from gastrointestinal disease.

I've also heard that I might have underdeveloped stomach because I was a premature baby, so it seems I have a destiny to suffer from gastrointestinal disease for life, just like Vivaldi, who was also premature, suffered from asthma throughout his life.

In fact, I also have a habit of being scared before eating. But when I actually eat, I eat well and digest well, even though other people suffering from gastrointestinal diseases can't eat at all. So, even today, it was a kimchi stew, so I was scared to see a lot of broth, but thankfully, I was able to eat it safely, slowly, and thankfully.

I only hope that it won't get worse from here on out while enduring.

2. Why durumis took a break

I gave up on 1 post per day a long time ago. That's because the life at home every day is just a life that is repeated according to the schedule, so there was no need to reveal it here. In addition, recent daily lives are recorded in detail on Naver with smartphone photos. Depending on the situation, I have published articles to the neighbors that may contain private lives.

I don't know what will happen in the future. In an uncertain future, something seems to change in my life soon, but this also can't be fully revealed due to privacy. I have to seek and find a way to express it well from an appropriate distance. So, this place, where I only have to write articles openly, is even more reluctant.

Nevertheless, it doesn't mean that I'm giving up durumis. I plan to continue recording useful IT device-related tips and US life know-hows here in the future. It's translated into 16 languages, so the exposure will be better than other companies.

So, if Baroco writes articles here sporadically in the future, I hope you think that I'm living faithfully in my daily life, as it is good news that there's no news.

3. Anxiety about the future

Due to the nature of my illness, I tend to be extremely anxious and impatient about the future events that haven't happened yet. This is not only for me, but for everyone, but in my case, it's more severe than others, and it's almost obsessive. In fact, this situation was also a decisive reason for increasing the amount of medicine I take.

Even now, various things are simultaneously capturing my mind in a bad direction. I'm worried if something disadvantageous will come to my family who live with me, or if I can continue to live stably in this American land, and the anxiety haunts me. (Even though I have a stable status) There is also some fault of the Korean media and Koreans that create anxiety to some extent.

So, I even considered the worst case scenario of reverse immigration. I have lived in the US for nearly twenty years, and I have almost adapted to American life, and I also found that America is surprisingly an IT powerhouse and a developed country, so I'm also worried whether I can adapt well if I go back to Korea. Because I'm already worried about such things that haven't happened yet, my family who see me around are sorry for me and look at me strangely.

(I know that the people who are reading this article right now won't feel so good about my expression either)

Nevertheless, I feel that my anxious and impatient mind is somewhat organized and stabilized by writing this article. Because there's nothing good to talk about these things to the people around me. But if I keep it to myself, it will become a disease, so I am so grateful that there is a space where I can express it like this.

So, I decided to only think positively. I believe that God will surely have a purpose and a plan, and will lead me to a good path. Still, since I was born and raised in Korea, it seems like it won't be so unfamiliar even if I go back. Moreover, if I get a good opportunity and diligently study again, and if I graduate safely, I will receive a good reputation and treatment at this age.

4. So, what's the next major?

I naturally came to the topic of my major. If I have the opportunity to study again, I'm wondering whether to study English Literature or Japanese Literature. I have certainly built my English skills through lifelong education in the US, but because of the limitations of movement, I can't develop any further at this level. Even so, it's true that I'm better than the average college students who are currently in school in Korea. Because I was terrible at English in college, too.

But when it comes to majoring, I'll have to memorize difficult English words and take quizzes, and it's ESL to me, so bringing it up to a native speaker level is not done with simple thoughts and logic. In fact, English Literature is a difficult field that native speakers in the US also find difficult.

Then, what about Japanese Literature, which is most similar to Korean? It's easier to approach than English. So, I think there is some possibility for this. However, it's not easy either, the deeper you go. Because it's really opposite in nature to do it as a hobby, lightly as it is now, and to major in it. If it's the latter, I really have to be prepared to shed tears and sweat blood.

Then, how about this? If I study English Literature in Japan? If you do it well, you can speak three languages ​​well. I won't write anymore about this.

In short, as I gathered and organized all the tangled and complex thoughts in my mind these days, or at this moment, I feel my mind becoming lighter. Whether you read this or not is entirely your freedom. I never wrote this with the intention of wanting someone to read it. It's only for my own self-cultivation and self-development, and I'm not thinking about generating profit at all. So, I want you to not regard me as the same person as others, and I would like to finish this long article with that wish.